how to get a woman to bed.

Dr. Biodun Ogungbo

The men

I was listening to the radio the other day and the discussion was about how difficult it was to chat up and date Nigerian women. The callers were mostly men who felt that the women were too guarded and hardened. One said that the only word women appreciated was ‘Naira.’ He was convinced that Nigerian women were too materialistic and frustrating the menfolk.

The women

Many women said men were always hassling them and only interested in chatting them up for sex. Even married men with children pester and molest women; and girls young enough to be their daughters. That sexual molestation and assault was way too common and way too uncouth, unskilled and in your face: especially from ugly men who use their position and power to try and get sex.

So, there is frustration on both sides. The truth, of course, is that women like all the nice things and that include subtlety, politeness, truth and romance. This is what men lack in the majority, believing that money can buy anything.

Sex please, we are Nigerians

Every woman has that magic button that, when pushed at the right time and with the right pressure, gets her instantly in the mood for your attention. You need to be able to gauge the conditions and circumstances so that you can make a successful pitch. The following, therefore, is what women want and a blueprint of how to get a woman into a relationship.

Be appreciative

Women like to be complimented. You know how long they spend preening and pruning the forest to turn it into a well manicured garden. So, appreciate the efforts and the results. Tell her she looks nice, beautiful or hot as the case may be. Compliment her hair, especially if she had spent time frying her head in the ‘microwave’ to make it straight (No, please don’t go sticking your heads in the microwave!).

Be patient

Take life easy and enjoy the moment, her company and the conversation. Understand who she is, where she is from and where she is headed in life. Show interest in her interests and the barricades will come down. Don’t rush around like a headless chicken, all excited that you start talking rubbish. Don’t be pushy, as nothing is more a turnoff than a man all in a fluster. Be awesome, patient and hot, and eventually things will happen.

Learn to flirt creatively

Be subtle but use conversation to flirt. Use her words and innuendos to get messages across and get her thinking about afters. This is especially great with your loved one for those already in a relationship. You know that the stress of life at times makes you take your partner for granted. Sometimes when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, the anticipation of seeing each other goes away. So, recapture the spark by sending suggestive text messages, emails or sly touches of her favourite places.

Act and be in control

Women like a man who is in control and takes charge. Don’t be backward in coming forward and leading from the front. Plan dates from start to the finish and make it happen as planned. Knowing you took the time to ensure you have fun times together outside the bedroom gets women amped to have a good time in the bedroom.

Cook a meal

Invite the woman of your affection and cook her a fabulous dinner. Many Nigerian men do not and cannot cook, having been spoilt by their mothers. It is great to cook a delicious nourishing meal for your partner. Women love to feel spoilt and they know if you can cook, you can take care of them. So, pop to the market and select ingredients for your woman today. Cook dinner and add mood enhancers. I’m talking about a clean apartment, good background music, maybe some flowers on the table with chocolate for dessert.

Learn how to kiss

Kissing is an expression of emotions — whether of friendship, love, or passion. Kissing is one among the universal acts of showing love. Almost everyone receives or gives a kiss at some point in their life. A kiss can be placed on any part of the face or body. You’ll give an acquaintance a peck on the cheek, a first date a lingering kiss on the lips, and your spouse a passionate French kiss.

Slobbering or suffocating your woman with your tongue is such a turn-off. If you need help, try kissing a Coca-Cola bottle or a banana. With the bottle, you learn the round-the-rim technique and the in and out moves. With the banana, try moving your tongue round clockwise and anti-clockwise and become a good kisser. It’s pretty much as simple as that.

Conclusion

Life and love are so simple and complex at the same time. But, a little effort to convey your honourable intentions goes a long way. Most important of course, is honesty of purpose and clarity of your objectives.

NB: Please, share your thoughts about the article. What are your experiences with Nigerian men and, or women?

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