When a couple has achieves bonding in
marriage, they don’t live separate lives anymore. Rather, they live as one -
doing things in common or in togetherness. It is when a couple has been able to
achieve this, that bonding can be said to have taken place or achieved in a
marriage.
Achieving bonding, which is a state of dependency of a couple, is not easily done, though highly and absolutely necessary. It is the ingredient of success in marriage which each couple must strive to achieve. As stated last week, sex is nature’s induced way of achieving this bonding. If a couple is able to achieve a great sex life, bonding is going to be as simple as A.B.C.
When a couple has bonded, there is a way they will live their lives in togetherness. This bonded way of living between a married couple is the subject matter of this write-up. Some of these are as enumerated below.
Living arrangements
A married couple who wants to achieve success in marriage should have a single accommodation. That is, they must live together in the same place. Keeping separate accommodation is highly inimical to the success of a marriage. That is why the Bible requires that “a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Becoming one flesh is what dependency or bonding is all about.
Living together in the same place means living in the same location with reference to city, house, and room. This is the way those who have succeeded and are succeeding in marriage live. Many marriages that have crashed, suffered setbacks with the evidence of scars of marital unfaithfulness, children out of wedlock, sexually transmitted diseases among others, arrived there due to separate living arrangements in most cases. So, when due to job or business situations, a couple lives apart, they are endangering their marriage. A couple that lives together, stays together, and vice versa.
A married couple who wants to achieve success in marriage should have a single accommodation. That is, they must live together in the same place. Keeping separate accommodation is highly inimical to the success of a marriage. That is why the Bible requires that “a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Becoming one flesh is what dependency or bonding is all about.
Living together in the same place means living in the same location with reference to city, house, and room. This is the way those who have succeeded and are succeeding in marriage live. Many marriages that have crashed, suffered setbacks with the evidence of scars of marital unfaithfulness, children out of wedlock, sexually transmitted diseases among others, arrived there due to separate living arrangements in most cases. So, when due to job or business situations, a couple lives apart, they are endangering their marriage. A couple that lives together, stays together, and vice versa.
Future plans
A couple who wants to succeed in marriage must also have interdependent future plans. That is, they must plan or set future goals together. Not that one would be planning one thing, and the other would be planning a completely different thing. If this happens, then chaos is imminent. This plan covers a wide range such as number of children, the type of accommodation, financial goals, investment targets, retirement goals, to mention but few. When such plans are conceived together, the drive for their success will be well coordinated, without divided loyalty.
A couple who wants to succeed in marriage must also have interdependent future plans. That is, they must plan or set future goals together. Not that one would be planning one thing, and the other would be planning a completely different thing. If this happens, then chaos is imminent. This plan covers a wide range such as number of children, the type of accommodation, financial goals, investment targets, retirement goals, to mention but few. When such plans are conceived together, the drive for their success will be well coordinated, without divided loyalty.
Relationships
Relationships to be kept should be a joint decision. A couple should not have independent relationships without the approval or knowledge of the other partner. Circle of friends should not differ as much as possible. In fact, this should be the same. The best thing is that friends of the couple before marriage should become harmonised into one circle, such that they both keep the same circle of friends. As a matter of policy, anyone who cannot be the friend of the wife, has no business being the friend of the husband, and vice versa.
Relationships to be kept should be a joint decision. A couple should not have independent relationships without the approval or knowledge of the other partner. Circle of friends should not differ as much as possible. In fact, this should be the same. The best thing is that friends of the couple before marriage should become harmonised into one circle, such that they both keep the same circle of friends. As a matter of policy, anyone who cannot be the friend of the wife, has no business being the friend of the husband, and vice versa.
Outings
Going out, as much as possible, together in one car is a true mark of bonding. It is a symbol of good companionship enjoyed by a couple. A lot of couples think it is a show of wealth and affluence for them to attend same outings using separate cars. This is an anti -bonding practice that couples should avoid as much as possible.
All the above, among others, have to be worked out alongside great sex because that is the way nature has designed it. Sex is a bonding factor between husband and wife. No man can have sex satisfactorily with himself, and same goes for the wife. They need each other to achieve sexual satisfaction. Once they succeed in achieving a great sex life, they will be able to succeed in bonding in all of the above mentioned areas.
A marriage that must last or succeed must have the two people bonding. This factor of bonding, called ‘becoming one flesh’ by the Bible, cannot be compromised. So, let all of us who are married strive for total bonding.
Going out, as much as possible, together in one car is a true mark of bonding. It is a symbol of good companionship enjoyed by a couple. A lot of couples think it is a show of wealth and affluence for them to attend same outings using separate cars. This is an anti -bonding practice that couples should avoid as much as possible.
All the above, among others, have to be worked out alongside great sex because that is the way nature has designed it. Sex is a bonding factor between husband and wife. No man can have sex satisfactorily with himself, and same goes for the wife. They need each other to achieve sexual satisfaction. Once they succeed in achieving a great sex life, they will be able to succeed in bonding in all of the above mentioned areas.
A marriage that must last or succeed must have the two people bonding. This factor of bonding, called ‘becoming one flesh’ by the Bible, cannot be compromised. So, let all of us who are married strive for total bonding.
By Bosede Ola Samuel
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